Chocolate kisses

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but it empties today of its strength and joy

2011-03-12T11:55:00.003+08:00

Because this is too long to be expressed in Twitter. Yes, I do tweet to a non-existent audience but mainly I use Twitter to keep myself updated of other happenings.

I know my Headmaster theory probably sounded harsh to you. I have to say that is not my intention. I am disappointed that the Pure Blood/Half Blood theory no longer holds but the bottomline is, stellar grades or not, you still need a Headmaster to recognise your potential in order to rise above the ranks and eventually do well in Hogwarts. I am sorry the word 'potential' wasn't quite expressed clearly yesterday which led you to interpret that I meant it as you didn't do anything to get there. At the end of the day, I wanted a fairer system, one that recognises the amount of experience and not whether the stellar grades/headmaster recognises you are a gem. In other words, do not shortchange. But fuck it la, the world is not fair anyway. It has been 6 months down the road and I'm kinda appalled at myself for reacting strongly. But I have cooled down. I have enough shit to deal with as it is.

Back to the current world, enough of the hogwarts nonsense. I am about to be thrown in the deep end in a number of not very likeable locations. I understand your rationale for wanting me to lead, I never say I don't want to. I only hope to be given an opportunity this year to learn as much as possible in a supporting role before the next progression (if it happens). And I understand the rationale also that the other so-called nicer locations are probably more xiong but after a stressful day, at least one is still in a place that can soothe the mood and not in some XXX place where recoiling back into the hotel seems like a better option. I'll never be able to bring this across to you in person as I do not want to appear like I am choosing anything. I know I do not have this luxury. The best plan I can think of is, why not let me join the other team and allow me to learn from the one who has done it before? But no your mind is made up, unless some new projects come in and make it impossible for me to do the job.

I worry too much about the future. And yet the past still haunts me once in a while.

寂寞寂寞就好

2010-09-17T13:00:00.002+08:00

I know I haven't blogged in a million years.

I love this song from Hebe's 单飞 album:

還是原來那個我不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容

不算什麼愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的借來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用每個人有每個人的業障因果

會有什麼什麼都沒有
早點看破才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的我總會把你戒掉

things do not fall in place, they crumble.

2010-06-27T21:43:00.008+08:00

This post is not a direct response to Sumiko Tan's upcoming wedding as seen in Thursday's papers. I'm happy for her though. This made me believe that fairy tales do happen for other people, even it it comes late at almost 3 decades later. :)

Anyway this is in response to her colleague, Ignatius Low's column in The Sunday Times. Some quotable paragraphs:

"...finding happiness, fulfillment and love - and keeping it alive - is tough in a fast-paced urban society like Singapore."

"Yet, some couples have an easy time. They dated in school and made the natural progression to marriage. Others meet at the workplace or in church and a common set of circumstances or beliefs helps cement their relationships."

"But the rest of us, things do not fall in place so easily."

"Some people found them (questions that Sumiko asked herself throughout her singlehood) whiny, self-defeating and unworthy of being aired in public."

"But they gave comfort to thousands of other readers who must have realised that they were not alone in their solitude, or that there was nothing wrong with occasionally feeling lonely or indulging in self-pity or regret."

I agree with Ignatius. To detractors of Sumiko, just when you feel that she is being extreme and overly pessimistic, you need to know that there are others out there who feels the same way because they are in similar situations. You may be one of those who have an easy time and have no idea what it's like to be single (and lonely) OR you may be an optimist who don't believe in wallowing in self-pity. However, to the rest, it's always comforting to know that there is someone you can relate to and can possibly understand what you are going through. Besides that's her own personal column so she's free to write on what she wants.

I'm not Sumiko's greatest fan. In fact, I started following her column only sometime last year. I haven't read all of her stuff. But I really enjoyed what I have seen so far. Btw ST, if you need a new writer to whine about singlehood, I have an immediate candidate for you, lol.

Yes, things do not fall in place easily for all but I'm glad it has fallen in place for you.

2010-06-22T23:09:00.002+08:00

Call me callous, but you brought it upon yourself.

Don't take your friends for granted.

You can continue with your disappearing act. Guess what, I'm actually happier not giving a shit about you.

under-utilised

2010-06-12T13:10:00.004+08:00

Evidence of how little I utilise the monthly bundled discount and rebates I have in my current phone plan:

Free 100 min outgoing call - Actual usage: 5.2 minutes
Free 500 local sms/mms - Actual usage: 297 messages
Free 12 GB local mobile data - Actual usage: 725 mb (not even 1 gig lor)

And I surfed on my phone very frequently, be it on the way home or at office for quick updates. So basically I have more than enough on my plan. lol.

Oh and for the free incoming calls, my actual usage: 10.6 minutes.

happiness is cyclical

2010-05-16T11:05:00.006+08:00

I apologise for the lack of entries, in case anyone is still checking back here.

And nowadays I will only blog when there is a need to, like today...Sumiko Tan has a new article on ST! She is like my idol, can, because I so agree with all that she said. Let me post a few quotes from her article - "Fear of the Unknown" -

"Happiness is cyclical. We've discovered that unhappiness invariably follows happiness, so it's best to keep your head down, stay under the radar and control your emotions."
True! Happiness always feels surreal to me probably because it seems in recent times I have encountered more shit than any form of true happiness.

"..if I'm negative about something and something negative really materialises, then I won't feel too let down as I had predicted this all along."
hahaha that's what I always say loh to people who know me well. I'd predict all the bad things first so if/when they really happen, it feels less worse, cos it's like I have been expecting it all along.

"It's perverse, I know, and pop psychologists will have a field day with people like me."
They will have a field day with me too!

"Can it be that I had once experienced such great happiness only to have it end so abruptly and painfully that I never wanted to be put in a situation where it might happen again?"
(Fortunately) I have not encountered any great happiness to have it shattered in my face. Happiness doesn't quite go together with my pessimistic self.

"...I've become comfortable with my glumness. It's my shield against future unhappiness."
Yes!! lol.

"It is certainly more painful to lose a new-found happiness that it is to be constantly unhappy."
nods?

"Humans are cowards in the face of happiness. It takes courage to hold on to happiness."
I agree with this somehow. but since there is nothing to hold on to, so this statement is really not that applicable..hahaa.

I know this entry sounds like a contradiction to what I posted on FB, which is actually a quote from SATC- "“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future,
stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.”

I'm trying not to think too much now, kinda like on auto-pilot mode for most of the days. But I have no expectations (on anything remotely positive) either cos I hate to be disappointed. So there. End of my rant on a Sunday morning. :)

Once is enough

2010-04-27T20:02:00.003+08:00

I was really fuming today.

Once is enough. And no, I don't think you are funny at all.

You are just bloody insensitive.

And when I'm stressed, I would appreciate that you shut up.

madness

2010-04-23T00:10:00.002+08:00

Fans fume as Jay Chou concert ticket counter opens -- and staff say tics sold out - this is ridiculous!

The sistic site was jammed for the 2008 concert but I still managed to secure a pair of tickets at night. The 2004 concert, I wasn't the one who bought the tickets so I dunno how crazy it was then. But definitely not as bad as now. It just gets worse.

What is the point of commencing sales at 9am for more box offices when even the first person in the queue can't get the tickets?

The sistic website only allowed me to get as far as the seats availability page where surprisingly all the pricing categories were BLACK (meaning available) but when I tried to submit after choosing the price range, I received an error message. And this happened multiple times before the site died on me. And also, I suspect quite a number of people got tix via whatever connections they have with the sponsors, media etc...so meaning the actual number of tickets that went on sale to the public could have been largely reduced.

One netizen suggested a pretty good idea, what about holding the concert at the National Stadium instead? More seats available...and since Mayday has done it, why not Jay? And Jay has held concert at outdoor stadiums in Taiwan.

He might as well not come, so stressful. If I have the time, I'd prefer going taipei to watch his concert. Yeah but too bad, now leave embargo till after June :(

zzzz

2010-04-18T18:09:00.002+08:00

The last week has been mentally/physically draining as well as painful (think scraped knee). The weeks to come will probably be a whole lot worse. Stressful as well when I couldn't get my hands on jay's concert tickets within the first 2 hours of its launch, and wham, they are all sold out. I believe the same scenario will repeat itself on the next sale date for the 23 July concert. I'm thankful though that I don't have to be subjected to that madness again.

Major sunday blues as usual. Napped for 3 hours earlier, signs and symptoms of depression..zzz.

April

2010-04-03T21:34:00.002+08:00

Firstly, would like to thank joyce for entertaining me with her 2nd entry of 2010. You know I miss reading your entries. :) I have been following fewer and fewer blogs and getting more and more dependent on twitter. lol. Bite-sized and on-the-go.

Today I managed to sell off my 2nd piece of impulse buy from the net. I totally heart Cotters Mall. It may be a few bucks' loss but it beats having the item rot in my wardrobe. And it's not only online buys, I have bought stuff from brick and mortar stores and have worn them from 0-1 time, which is really bad.

Other than that, so far I'm still pretty satisfied with my online loots. :)

remember me not

2010-03-21T00:45:00.002+08:00

Remember me was a complete yawn.

I don't know if it's the editing or the censoring but the whole movie was pretty disjointed. Scenes ended abruptly for no good reason and made one wonder why that scene was there in the first place. And...the ending was totally crap. I could think of a million other better ways to end it. I find the movie meaningless, lol. Only RPattz was a total (stiff) doll still and I was struggling to stay awake just to look at his face. Hahaha.

some things just don't die

2010-03-12T21:17:00.004+08:00

I saw him again today. At a food court near my workplace. I'm surprised as I thought his workplace is 2 train stations away. Or maybe he's working for a new place now. *shrugs* But well, the impact of seeing him again after two years is pretty minimal.

It's kinda weird and amusing that people from the past are appearing one after another before me. lol.

On a different note, I totally dig bonitochico. Heart their dresses. Needless to say, I have contributed a substantial portion of this month's clothes buying budget to them but only received 2 dresses so far. :( The rest are backorder-ed. I hate waiting.

-

2010-03-07T20:09:00.002+08:00

My Sunday morning was ruined by a sms.

And all was dark and gloomy for the rest of the day.

I dread Monday. :(

retail therapy-ing

2010-03-06T12:25:00.003+08:00

I literally went crazy and bought 6 dresses (2 backorders 1 pending) from a renowned local blogshop.

This is the result of panaroia/stress and coming from a person who rarely, ever bought any piece of clothing online. Now I sure hope they fit! I'm a lousy estimator, at the most I need to go on a diet, dammit!

I hope to get my pending (most recent) order first.... :\\ as I won't be seeing my 2 backorders till late March/early April and that sucks as March is a terrible, terrible month. I need to be cheered up, fast. :(

Tree talk

2010-03-03T18:38:00.002+08:00

RPattz finally made a special appearance on Jimmy Fallon's silly segment on Robert is Bothered.

Damn hilarious lah.

IF

2010-03-02T20:01:00.002+08:00

If for a moment you would put yourself in my shoes.

How would you feel if you just came back from foundation course and am clueless on the current status? And being instantly swarmed.

How would you feel that your boss is going on maternity leave soon and the boss' boss is totally hands free (and doesn't give a damn)?

How would you feel that in 3 weeks' time you would have to present ALONE in front of senior management?

If you would only pause for a moment and think of the above, perhaps you won't look so nonchalant and pass insensitive remarks. You are too sheltered whereas I'm a magnet for trouble.

I need to be retail therapied

Huat!

2010-02-21T20:03:00.003+08:00

This is the first cny that I spent more time holing up at home/hotel than anywhere else. And totally didn't show face for any 拜年 activities.

Despite the above, I did lao yusheng x3 times so hope my luck can be multiplied by 3, lol.

Happy new year!

never again

2010-02-02T18:01:00.004+08:00

I'm never going to make use of vpostusa again. I'll take USPS any day. The cost saving as advertised is a ton of bs.

Vpost just overcharged me by over S$50 as compared to an item of similar dimensions and weight that was shipped to me via USPS. I didn't even know when they implement the fuel surcharge thing and INCREASED the base charge as well. USPS was much more transparent in their charging.

bloodsucker..urgh.

-

2010-01-30T11:03:00.004+08:00

I'm a magnet for weird work arrangements.

I'm going to be working exclusively under a guy who has a history of mixed reviews from people who have worked for him. One of which is, someone didn't get confirmed. Haha. He is extremely hands free which means I'm effectively going to be handling all the shit work from the 3-4 months that I'm going to be stuck with him. And on a project that I'm totally clueless about. I guess in the end in the end it is going to be a one-man show, the one man = me.

I think I'm dead meat, from March onwards.

sick again

2010-01-24T22:04:00.002+08:00

This is the second time that I have fallen ill in the month of January. Both times it originated from sore throat. Anyway I should say this trend of falling ill started before Christmas and it has well gone on into the new year.

Sigh I feel really bad taking mc tomorrow as my boss is kinda stressed and I have tons of files to review. But she's expecting and I'm gonna have to be socially responsible. My sore throat has degenerated to a full blown cold. This sucks totally.

愛不單行

2010-01-16T12:20:00.001+08:00

找不到人說心裡的寂寞
找不到人懂怕黑的折磨
找不到命中注定在一起的那個人
很多人都像我一個人過生活

愛只有簡單筆畫
卻比想像複雜恨安定愛變化
我愛過幾個人也被愛過幾遍
卻還是沒能將幸福留下

愛是不可數的嗎？
為何我還相信它不是獨行俠
我在等一個人在等我的永恆
告訴我愛不單行
別害怕

愛不單行 -羅志祥

urgh

2010-01-14T22:27:00.003+08:00

The world cannot get any smaller but we probably asked for it.

A bunch of us skipped parts of the course today to hang out at this tea/coffee place which was just a stone's throw away from the ex-firm.

I wasn't actively participating in the conversation that surrounded a certain new colleague while the rest expressed their discontentment over the system and circumstances of her joining.

And then we got up to leave and someone called my name. Someone who was seated a few stools away. Turned out to be her boyfriend. Didn't know how much he heard but I hope he didn't catch much. :\ I suspected he did hear and recognised my voice but didn't call out till my colleague stood up and unblocked his view. Colleague was seated in between me and her boyfriend.

Okay whatever, I am being paranoid here.

Your new beginning was a perfect ending

2010-01-05T18:17:00.003+08:00

I always knew there was some truth to this.

And hell, yes!

But that ending has to be deferred for now which I try to live through this shit and appear indifferent.

10 years after the millennium

2010-01-01T01:35:00.002+08:00

I spent a quiet new year's eve with me, myself and the new expensive hobby.

Anyway to my very few readers, a happy new year to you guys! :)

blah

2009-12-28T18:01:00.003+08:00

I discovered with horror today that one of my old online diaries (note: I had many) was still very much alive. Diaryland hasn't deactivated it and I had posted some rubbish on the front page entry 2 years ago. Needless to say, I promptly removed all traces of the rubbishy entry.

Said diary can be considered to be my pioneer diary. I actually jumped on the online diary craze in the year 2000 which effectively means I have been babbling nonsense online for almost a decade. That is pretty incredible.

And of course the standard of my online writing/thoughts have dropped tremendously. I used to have so much to bitch/rant about and the language was urm, more flowery. I was a literature student then, these things come easy. Then my creativity died as my life degenerated. From a proper web-based diary, it became a substance-less blog. I couldn't care less also if I have a stream of loyal readers as half the time I'm ranting to myself, lol. I'm not as interesting as before and with that I mean the me many years ago. Or maybe there are still interesting entries but those are classified ones which are published elsewhere and private.

***

The year is drawing to a close. I have no new year resolutions as I never keep to any of them. Reflections? No, I don't really want to reflect back on 2009 so I'll leave it at that. I hope for an uneventful and bland 2010.

my world is a fish bowl

2009-12-23T14:57:00.002+08:00

My world is freaking small.

I just discovered today that my soon-to-be auditee is my primary school classmate whom I have not met in the last 14 years. That's really disgustingly long. And I never recalled seeing him turn up at any of our past primary school gatherings.

Personally I find it slightly awkward to audit somebody I know although I have lost touch with the person for so many years.

Oh well, I hope he's still nice and hasn't evolved into an asshole over the years.

-

2009-12-20T23:38:00.005+08:00

Today is the day I broke my 3 month self-imposed shopping (clothes) ban. Just 2 weeks shy of the 3 month mark.

I have been buying random not that expensive things during the period. Justifiable cos they were not clothes but I was getting so sick of my work wear! Although there isn't much motivation to dress up at work, haha!

Anyway, I'm still proud that the ban did work from early October till mid December. *gives myself a pat on the shoulder* However from now onwards, I'm going to stick strictly to my monthly clothes buying budget.

In other news, the resident certified ass in my ex-company tendered his resignation. How ironic that he'd be the next to go after me.

D-u-m-b

2009-12-16T22:32:00.003+08:00

Lately I have been composing a few un-published entries but anyway they aren't important (as I didn't complete any of them).

What I want to say today is, facebook is really dumb with the whole privacy revamp. Previously we can restrict viewing for status updates, now I can't restrict that without sealing off my entire wall of posts. With the wall missing, won't the person know that he/she has been blocked?

How stupid can facebook get?

punctured heart, randomness

2009-12-05T02:16:00.005+08:00

New Moon sucks.

Just like the book.

It was already a chore trying to finish that book because it had no plot cept for Bella's internal struggles and hallucinations. The action only picks up in Eclipse. New Moon was a total drag in my opinion. The 1.5 popcorn review was damn right.

Maybe Treasure Hunter is more interesting, lol. After all it stars Jay and Baron Chen. lol again.

I'm so sleepy.

thankgodit'sfridaybutihaven'tcompletemyworkshucks!

2009-11-06T13:52:00.004+08:00

Sluggish friday afternoon, what I term as the post-lunch syndrome.

After yesterday night, I concluded that my judgment is impaired/terribly flawed. Sigh, I will not indulge in self-deluding no more.

They are all the same.

I should shut up

2009-11-04T19:42:00.006+08:00

I over-reacted.

p.e.a.c.e for now

2009-10-24T12:44:00.001+08:00

Life has been totally uneventful, even to the point of being boring.

This is the tradeoff I guess.

However I'm still grateful for everything.

this makes me smile

2009-10-20T21:55:00.003+08:00

edit: Not anymore.

Stephen Gately

2009-10-11T22:29:00.002+08:00

Boyzone star Stephen Gately dies in Majorca.

Oh my god.

All right, he's gay but I used to like him during his boyzone days (my primary school days). I used to think he was the cutest amongst the lot.

This is truly shocking. He was only 33.

Totally didn't know about this till someone posted the news link on facebook.

RIP Stephen. :\

Flirting, heroes, GG and vampires

2009-10-05T18:34:00.003+08:00

I always enjoyed reading Sumiko Tan's articles. She always seemed to talk about topics that I can relate to, read: pending spinsterhood (and embracing it).

On yesterday's Sunday times' lifestyle, she talked about flirting with the bak chor mee man, as well as flirting on networking sites such as facebook, myspace etc. She thinks flirting is good but is it wrong to flirt when you are happily married/attached etc? Even on cyberspace. But that doesn't apply to me cos I'm happily/unhappily single (I can't decide). But I suck at the art of flirting IRL. I don't think I can ever excel in that in real life towards a guy I fancy. I won't even look straight at his eyes.

Anyway, may I add that there is another avenue for flirting. Evony. Hah. Recently I engaged in some harmless flirting with this brit from my alliance. Recent as in 2 weeks ago. He kind of started it first and I played along. Words are perhaps easier as typed out on screen vs actual flirting done in person. BUT due to our timezone difference, it's hard to catch him online and thus I haven't been able to catch him online for the last 2 weeks (anw 1 week I was away in Japan). Kinda missing his humor. Hmm. The Americans are always around. Due to our 12 hours' difference, i.e. their 9am is our 9pm, hence they are always around to chat with. And some of them sleep crazy hours. However, my nameless brit loves to log on at 12am London time which is like 7am SG time...so bleah. Oh and he's kinda cute as seen on the profile pic posted on our alliance forum. ;)

***

Back to Heroes S4. It sucks. The first 3 episodes couldn't redeem themselves from S3's shitty ending. The storyline was sloppily done. There don't seem to be a focus unlike S1 and S2 where we know there is THE COMPANY/Pinehurst behind all the crap. But now I don't even know who's pulling the strings. The mysterious carnival guy doesn't interest me much. Did Claire's roomie really commit suicide? Not explained. Sorry, Claire Bennett's free fall test doesn't explain why she didn't see the suicide note earlier. Syler has become an irritant who's always hovering in the background. Not to mention, Nathan Petrelli (who's actually Syler) seems redundant at this point in time. Come on writers, save the show!

Gossip Girl Season 3. Un-interesting too. The only reason why I watch GG is cos of Blair Waldolf's fashion. Which is the only saving grace at the moment. I used to watch GG also because Chace Crawford is cute BUT Nathaniel Archibald is............I'm speechless. All he does is hook up with girls and doesn't contribute even to the teeniest of the plot. Totally irrelevant and out-of-point casting.

The Vampire Diaries 3 is too teen angst-ridden. The brooding good vampire vs the evil vampire. And the heroine who couldn't decide which brother she prefers. I think I'll take Twilight any day even though twilight sucks too. Okay I think the best vamp movie I saw so far has to be The Interview with the Vampire. Love the book too and Brad Pitt kicks ass as Louis although Tom Cruise came across as a little short for the role of Lestat.

I'm still watching the above cos I'm bored, I need entertainment......hope Taiwan comes up with some good dramas soon as I enjoyed the previous 败犬女王.

An invisible thread

2009-09-17T01:59:00.006+08:00

The season finale of Heroes Season 3 left me deeply unsatisfied.

Season 1 and 2 finales had better closures and ended their respective volumes nicely. NYC was spared of the explosion in S1 and the Shanti virus was destroyed in S2. Season 3 finale chose not to end on a cliff hanger but instead had Syler taking on the form of Nathan Patrelli. It was not revealed how Nathan's body was disposed off either. Peter Petrelli was the one who jabbed the tranquilizer which could kill an elephant into Syler's throat so as to knock him out. However, it was not explained subsequently why Peter was not present when Angela Patrelli engaged Matt Parkman's help in removing Syler's memories and replacing it with Nathan's. Syler shape shifted into Nathan but we are not sure if this is permanent. So it seemed then that Peter and Claire Bennett were both kept in the dark of Nathan's death.

Claire's blood can be used to revive the dead where it was used to revive Noah Bennett when he was shot in the eye by Mohinder Suresh. So why did Angela Petrelli not chose this alternative? Why have Syler replace her dead son when there is this possibility of bringing the real Nathan back from the dead? Furthermore, Noah was present when Syler was brainwashed by Matt in the second last scene but no suggestions were made by him, assuming that Angela might be unaware that her granddaughter's blood had healing abilities (highly unlikely).

I don't really like the twist at the end. To have Syler take Nathan's shoes. Perhaps the writer wasn't sure if he wants to keep Syler or Nathan in the story and it is best to end it this way. Like Nicki Sanders being written off to make way for Tracy Strauss. But I can't imagine the show without the resident psychotic killer - Syler (Zachary Quinto). So he should be back as himself pretty soon.

Season 4 starts next Monday. All the unanswered queries about to be revealed, hopefully.

Don't wake me up when September ends

2009-09-15T14:45:00.003+08:00

This has got to be the best month of 2009.

New toy.
New drama seasons.
Last week of September to look forward to. :)

Before it all ends....oh well.

get well soon

2009-09-07T23:19:00.004+08:00

This is terrible.

I was talking to this girl from the same alliance on evony yesterday. She was telling me that she plans to attack this nearby hostile city after she's back from church. And the next thing I'm hearing today is that she was involved in a serious car accident on the way back from church. Barely conscious now and can only move her right arm. The stupid driver fled.

She is sort of like my neighbour on the strategy game, about 5.7 miles away from me on the game and possibly zillions of miles away in terms of actual physical distance. I think she's american. What shocked me was that I was just talking to her yesterday and then everyone was asking about her this morning and I was wondering why. She was really nice to me, all giggly on the game and sending me resources when I first started on the game. Sweet girl.

It's just a game. These people are nicknames, probably won't ever get to know their real names or know how they look like but it still got to me.

Hope you get well soon dear neighbour.

Evony-ing

2009-08-29T17:36:00.005+08:00

I think I'm addicted to Evony. An idiot plundered my city twice yesterday and got robbed of his thousands of armies instead, thanks to my traps and archer towers. Unfortunately, he got one of his stronger freaking alliance members and my city was almost, completely raided.

I was feeling miserable as I had to rebuild all the shit. Then I joined a powerful and helpful alliance and my city has been left alone (so far) for me to rebuild my stuff, so yay. The helpful alliance transported loads of resources to aid me in the rebuilding. Sigh, looks like I can't play this game on my own without some strong backings.

Anyway the game isn't really that interesting as there is a lot of waiting time. It can take hours to build something but I get satisfaction from seeing my city grow. And the prestige rises too.

Sleepy now, having KTV-ed till wee hours of morning yesterday and woke up involuntarily by alarm this morning to brunch with a longtime friend. I haven't seen her for years! My goodness....

Apple in hot water in France over 'exploding iPhones'

2009-08-28T00:35:00.002+08:00

Is this the reason why Singtel is taking ages to replenish its iPhone stock?

Early this year, my colleagues happily snapped up China's version of iPhone (known as the Aphone) in Shanghai. Despite its incredibly attractive price, I had my reservations about purchasing it, which I didn't urm for fear of it exploding. I mean it's always better to get the real thing...and now look what's happening?

Oh well, my 2 year old iPod hasn't burst into flames yet..

The Proposal

2009-08-23T01:33:00.004+08:00

Caught The Proposal today and it's your typical feel-good predictable comedy. I even read the spoiler ending on the web before watching but anyway no surprises.

And then, there is Ryan Reynolds.

He has the cutest puppy dog eyes. Of course, the japanese spitz in the movie was a real darling as well. After Reynolds, haha.

Not only that.

His body is smoking hot as well. The only unfortunate thing is he's married to bombshell Scarlett Johansson. LOL.

I need to go re-watch the 2009 MTV movie awards for him and Sandra Bullock's segment.

Thoughts run

2009-08-19T20:17:00.003+08:00

It is so difficult to find a travelling kaki nowadays. I envy friends who have a fixed travelling mate to tour the world with. You know, those you can call upon to arrange the annual or bi-annual trip without worrying that they will backout on you or choose their boyfriends over you. I can't count on my family either as they are not really into travelling and they hate long haul flights.

Of course, the ideal solution would be to find myself a boyfriend (who enjoys travelling too), but haha the likelihood of that ever happening is close to zero at the moment. Or maybe not at all in this lifetime as I resign myself to becoming a 败犬.

Once upon a time, I thought I found a fun travelling mate. That was before she got attached and her boyfriend decided to object to our future expeditions. He objected during my lowest emotional point this year. I thought I could steal a breather, sort out of thoughts on this long awaited getaway and he had to say 'no' to her and even picked a fight with her. I think he's a complete moron but I'll leave it at that.

Alternatively, I'll be a lone traveller from now onwards. A lot of people go on trips on their own...it's really no big deal. Except maybe there will be fewer solo shots if I can't find anyone to take pic of me and some scenery, haha.

Yeah, no big deal. I just need to rant. I'm semi-depressed today.

why did I register my interest? For fun?

2009-08-13T00:06:00.004+08:00

I gushed about the blackberry in a previous post but I went to register my interest in the iPhone on the Singtel website. I didn't know iPhone 3G (whatever) was exclusive to Singtel. Neither did I know it was just launched in July. I thought it was out since ages ago...yeah probably the 2G version. I don't keep track of phones.

Anyway registering my interest doesn't mean I need to buy. I still don't understand how the iPhone plan works and not forgetting the cost is much higher than my current plan.

And I really don't need a phone at the moment....despite my 'T' alphabet soft touch keypad giving me problems.

I need some sort of retail therapy.

why have you changed?

2009-08-11T23:08:00.002+08:00

This is not how my stupid blog should look like. I have resorted to using one of their pre-made templates as I couldn't figure out how the hell to get those tags to work on the new template I have chosen.

Argh. I'll have all the time in the world to fiddle with this next week. Or dump blogspot for xanga, movable type? Anything that allows me to modify my template freely without getting a headache from all the technical jargon? But I can't bear to dump chocolate-rain. After all I've been here for the past 3 years.

Time for bed, stayed up way too late last night for my nonsense surfing.

NDP random ramblings

2009-08-09T22:29:00.010+08:00

Happy birthday Singapore.

Google has a really cute logo specially for NDP. I like saving and collecting their cute logos.

Some random things:

Kristen Stewart has a pink blackberry! I didn't know blackberries come in pink. Came across the below picture while having my daily dosage of Rob Pattinson papz moments.

Click to see the high resolution/HQ version. The pink berry is nice!

Sumiko Tan wrote a column on meeting her jc crush some 29 years later. Cute article. I always enjoyed reading her columns.

I can't imagine meeting a jc crush (in person) almost 30 years later. It has been close to a decade since my last serious crush in jc and he is my non-interactive friend on facebook. I still get to see his updates once in a while. Facebook, twitter whatever has made the world smaller and you can basically be updated on all your ex-crushes, lovers, bfs/gfs if you cared enough for them to still exist within your virtual network. At least Sumiko went on that one date with him, sadly I didn't, ha. Did deliberately turning up at one of his usual haunts count as meeting? lol. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with that if the chance ever popped up. If we weren't exactly friends to begin with....

The weather sucks today.

Bummer

2009-08-08T11:13:00.002+08:00

I must be one of the rare few in Sg who's not enjoying her long weekend and hoping for it to be over asap.

Hopeless

2009-08-07T11:19:00.003+08:00

I suspect I have blogged about this JJ Lin song before. But hell, I'm feeling every single freaking word in the lyrics. Okay, most of it anyway.

Black Warrior
作詞：五月天阿信作曲：林俊傑

有了天空為何世界還有地心引力
有了希望為何絕望還是如影隨形
有了勇氣就讓哭泣埋葬過去
去寫一種歷史名字叫奇蹟
如果恐懼就像火炬那就讓它沸騰我血液帶我到絕地
喔我才能完全覺醒
在黑暗的對面是光明光明後面是陰影
正義邪惡是誰有權定義
在命運的前面我懷疑
在面具後面鐵一般決心光榮的犧牲也是種榮譽
不怕人說不要人懂我要證明明天我的姓名將會是傳奇
如果恐懼就像火炬那就讓它沸騰我血液帶我到絕地
喔我才能完全覺醒
在黑暗的對面是光明光明後面是陰影
正義邪惡是誰有權定義
在命運的前面我懷疑
在面具後面鐵一般決心光榮的犧牲也是種榮譽
失敗會設下陷阱沒有勝利會發出邀請
只有我自己喔能夠還我自己公平還我自己公平
在黑暗的對面是光明光明後面是陰影
正義邪惡是誰有權定義
在命運的前面我懷疑在面具後面鐵一般決心
要扭轉命運最後的反擊

For this moment, I love JJ Lin (Mayday's 阿信, whoever wrote this song). Move aside Jay.

Is my self-constructed bubble of hope about to burst? As my mood declines to its worst on a Friday.

I still have 2 fat files to clear with the manager later, yeah what a fantastic end to this week. The long weekend is non-appealing. My life stinks too much for anything to appeal to me.

Liverpool~~~~~

2009-07-27T00:56:00.008+08:00

I was peeved that I couldn't get the east/grand stand tickets (and even more annoyed with Steven Gerrard's absence). But turned out that my South Stand behind-the-goalpost was a blessed spot with 4 out of the 5 goals being netted in at my end. :)

Perhaps most of the female population was waiting for the grand entrance of him.

Fernando Torres

Okay lah, very cute meh? I think it's the blond streaks and he's not a natural blond. :p Anyway I can only see a tiny speck of him running around in his No 9 shirt. The new away kit isn't very friendly on the eye either. It looks like dull gold against the black.

Stevie, wait for me! Don't you dare retire or club hop anywhere, I'm going to Anfield to see you one day!!!!

RPattz, down memory lane

2009-07-23T23:27:00.013+08:00

There is just something about this guy that has transformed me into part of his screaming legion of fans. Right, except I don’t scream.

I wasn’t attracted to him when I first saw him in Twilight. Probably due to the grainy and sketchy effects of the Krisworld entertainment system onboard SQXXX. I cannot remember which flight is that.

I was into a certain Mr Crawford despite his ornamental/manwhore role in Gossip Girl.

His new look for GG Season 3 and he is still gorgeous

And then one day, I came across a teenie pic of him in a mag and was drawn to his sexy, brooding look. It didn't take Google long to churn out more of the sexy brooding, what some described also as "roguishly stoned looks." And I'm in love, sighh. Haha.

I didn't re-watch Twilight although I have it in dvd. Instead I was excited to re-watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to see how much the boy has grown since his Cedric Diggory days.

Cedric Diggory (Fresh faced teen)

Him with the rest of the HP cast, looking slightly awkward and out of place

Him at HP's Goblet of fire NYC premiere..omg, already looking hot. Where did the awkwardness go to?
A recent photoshoot. Still irresistibly hot with the tousled hair.

I will spare you of any Twilight pics for the moment. I must repeat it wasn't strictly because of Edward Cullen. I think he's too pale, lol. I prefer the Rob as he is, human.

Bloody disappointed

2009-07-22T09:10:00.007+08:00

Is it my fault that I didn't check Steven Gerrard's personal calendar and getting to know that he isn't PART of LFC's asian tour due to his assault court case? I was simply too busy. All I knew was that Liverpool's coming, I gotta go and it's my chance (finally) to see my favourite footballer. Since he didn't turn up 8 years ago in Sg due to an injury.....And it doesn't help that our stupid local papers were creating this false impression and misrepresenting that he will be here...

Argh, I'm DISAPPOINTED. 8 years ago he wasn't here, 8 years later due to that stupid court case (why must you get embroiled in that??!!!!!) he is not coming AGAIN.

At this rate, I'll never get to see him (play) in person and then he retires in 2013 or what..

in between reality and fiction

2009-06-21T21:23:00.005+08:00

Definition of a zombie as extracted from Wikipedia: A reanimated corpse or a mindless human being.

And that is exactly what I am now.

I haven't been updating here diligently and probably no one is checking back here anymore, which suits me just fine.

The last thing I want is probably real life confrontation on what's going on. I don't think I can handle any questionings unless I'm ready to tell you myself.

My life is a spectacular failure. I don't even know how on earth things can go SO WRONG. Things picked up a little and was seemingly going the way I prayed so hard and then it had to go back to square one. I was doomed for this right from the beginning.

I felt like a total zombie for the whole weekend. A zombie that surprisingly can still turn on the tear ducts as and when. I don't think real mindless corpses are capable of crying, do they?

Brought back alot of work to do, work that needs to be finished before I fly off this coming Sunday but I barely touched anything. Other than moping around or reading the Twilight series (I'm on the third book now). Bad choice for reading materials......I feel as jinxed as the female protagonist. As per this particular line in the book where the black box won't even survive if she or I get into a planecrash. Or maybe I'll get infected with H1N1 first. The chances of that are higher. However, I do not have an Edward Cullen to protect and tell me that everyting's going to be okay. Cos nothing will, and I mean this in a bitter tone.

Although Twilight is a teenage series and I'm probably too old for this but I always had this obsession for vampire tales since the Anne Rice days and my love for Armand, the forever 16 year old while I have outgrown him by 10 years now.Okay, not talking sense anymore, I need to get some work done so I'll feel less guilty but guilt doesn't count that much either when the end is already so near.

I should ban myself from wikipedia as I have accidentally read spoilers for the 4th book, damn it.

苦中作乐-ing in London

2009-05-13T05:47:00.002+08:00

I'm going to be so utterly broke after this working trip.

Usually I don't shop that much on working trips with the exception of the Hong Kong work trip last year. But I definitely spent more than last year anyway. Bleah.

3 weekends of shopping in London + 1 weekend in Paris. I'm lucky I don't have to pay for meals and accomodation else I'm on my way to bankruptcy.

This is like so 苦中作乐. Yes, I'm still working. This is no holiday.

Lost touch

2009-04-11T00:03:00.003+08:00

Something tells me that I haven't taken the MRT for a long time when I saw to my surprise (today) that Boon Lay was not longer the terminal station of the west bound line but Joo Koon. Wherever the hell that is and I thought it's some station that is connected or near to NTU, well apparently not.

ALL holed up once more

2009-04-06T00:04:00.004+08:00

I'm showing symptoms of depression.

It helped abit that I was able to get it all out to a friend last Friday.

Bottling up and holing oneself up at home sure didn't seem like a good solution.

However I'm still depressed and totally dreading tomorrow.

Why on earth did I let an irritant get to me so much?

I wished I don't ever have to see him again, or make him disappear from my sight.

I don't wish to work with him ever again.

I wish I can just ask him to fuck off.

I'm so glad it's a short week. Only 4 days.

C'mon girl, you can stomach this. 4 days plus another week more and you'll be off to your 2 cities, 6 apartments' worth of shit. Zillions of miles away from the living terror who will be far away in the southern hemisphere.

Impending doom

2009-04-02T19:57:00.002+08:00

2 cities. 6 apartments. 1 corporate office. 4 weeks. And 3 of us.

How the hell are we going to finish?

Be careful what I wished for huh. I only wanted my first taste of hospitality jobs, not 6 times of it.

My knees are going weak at the thought of it.

9 years ago....

2009-04-01T20:47:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday to YOU.

Sorry that I can't wish you on FB.

I'm alive, yes.

2009-03-31T21:22:00.003+08:00

Yeah I have disappeared for a good 1.5 months from the blogosphere and I'm in time for a end March entry, or I'll be skipping a month for my archives, and that won't look very nice.

The last 1 month had its ups and downs. Mostly downs.

1) The SH job was a horror.
2) It won't be half as horrible if I hadn't met the most irritating man on earth aka my colleague, team mate on the same job
3) Still suffering the after-effects back at home. Somebody should tell my boss to include CLEARING review points hours in her bloody budget. Or give fewer points.

Other than that, I don't remember any UPs.

Sigh and the Seoul trip I was looking forward to evaporated due to friend's last minute change of mind.

Don't ever pin hopes/happiness on fickle-minded friend.

Although I'm relieved I ain't going on leave next week due to the immensely disgusting workload.

On a brighter note, I booked my Taiwan trip, hahahahah something to look forward to despite it being a whole 2 months away. My 6th trip, I've been called a Taiwan freak. Who cares. I heart Taiwan.

Seeing that the economy is so stinkish, going Taiwan is probably the best choice since it doesn't burn deep.

grey & depressing

2009-02-15T21:20:00.006+08:00

There is nothing aesthetic about building a full length window right beside the bathtub. So the purpose is for one to enjoy the city lights from the tub? Not when bathing obviously as the curtains would be drawn...what I am referring to is, try bathing beside a window when it's freaking 8-9 degrees and raining outside. And the window glass is not that thick loh.

The hot water did help abit but not when I was done and had to rush out in a frenzy to wrap myself in towel and get dressed asap before I freeze to death in the bathroom. Okay I'm exaggerating but the temperature might just fall to below 5 in the next few days. So, DON'T build windows beside bathtubs! Unless it's in tropical countries.

In other words, Shanghai is depressingly overcast, grey and rainy. I hate cold, wet weather. Cold, snowy weather (not snow storms) is preferred as the snow dries faster as compared to rain water on my jacket. *Misses Turkey*

I'm trying hard not to think too much about the one month that I have to stay here...

Edit:

The office has no heater. The washroom feels like a freezer.

My work desk in the hotel faces the mirror too. I'm so going to change room.

2009-02-03T17:04:00.006+08:00

2009 has barely started and I already have one big fat regret. And that is missing Sylvia Chang's Design for Living. And yeah read: Joe Cheng.

I was informed about this play back in December and being not a very play person, I only did a half-hearted search on sistic (turned out that I should have tried the Esplanade site). I had absolutely no knowledge of when the play was going to be on in Sg. I even dismissed the search as I thought I might not be in town to catch it. So I only got to know the dates on 31st January. 31 Jan was the last day of the play and I knew about it at night!!

Yes, I'm blind to all the print/tv advertisments etc...and so I missed my chance to see HIM in the flesh. So what if the reason for this is totally fangirlish and shallow? The reviews for the play were positive too, I guess I'd have enjoyed it plus the eyecandy factor of the guy i have been oohing over since 2003 The Rose days. I can even stand his long locks then, haha.

The Taipei leg of the play is in April....and no I do not have ideas in my head. LOL. I can't even if I want to, I will be heading for another 1 month job during the same period, to a place that might bring me closer to another long-time love steven gerrard, if the schedule doesn't CHANGE. and I survive shanghai first.

2009-01-28T13:39:00.004+08:00

I'm just as dysfunctional as last week as the holiday mood continues. How I wish chu san is a holiday! I try not to take leave as my leave are strictly to be used (as far as possible) on vacations and not for nua-ing at home.

But boy am I glad that I did not have to work during the CNY long weekend. First time in 3 freaking years! The first year I completely skipped all the bai-nian to slog at home. For the 2nd and 3rd year thereafter, I decided to commence work only on the 2nd day of the lunar new year and gave myself a break on chuyi.

I'm glad that is all over now. :)

Yeah be thankful for all the little things.

I'm so damn sleepy now thanks to some drunkards, both men and women, who were making a racket near my void deck in the wee hours of the morning. Arghhhhh.

2009-01-22T14:06:00.002+08:00

I'm completely dysfunctional at work this week. Not that I hope for a bomb to rain down in order to wake me up from this stupor. Maybe I'm already in a holiday mood or just plain tired, after having been away from home for one whole month. And just semi-recovered from a battered self esteem. This is self-induced but I'll live with it.

So for the next few weeks, I hope to meet up with as many friends as possible before heading over to camp at Shanghai. Thank goodness it's Shanghai but sadly, I have a couple of 1 month 3rd world countries jobs coming up...I might just go mad there.

I hope the schedule changesssss!

Happy 2009!

2009-01-12T20:37:00.009+08:00

IthinkImaynotbeabletogohomeasscheduledthisfriday.

Due to some unforeseen circumstances.

I'm missing home so much. I hardly had chance to catch my breath after my Turkey winter wonderland and then I had to jet off to HCMC. Initially I was quite happy that it's only a 2 week assignment but now horror, it's gonna extend over 2 weeks and there goes my weekend. I thought I could finally sleep in or do some catching up with friends before the CNY. And then it's less than one month in SG before I jet off to Shanghai for a WHOLE month. Gulps.

There you have it, I'm hardly at home and I do wish for some local assignments so that SG would stop feeling so much like a resort and more like home.

I'll just pen a few lines on my 2008 since there's no time nor mood for a long reflection.

First half of the year was spent in Company A where I had my third and last financial peak as an extern@l @uditor. Haha and this is about the only thing that I don't miss. Other than that I had my good moments in the company and got to know some really nice people. But then again, my hectic flying around don't give me much chance to catch up with the handful of them. :(

The pace in Company B is slightly slower and I mean only slightly cos the stress level is still high and the amount of work just as crushing. But I get fewer emails than I was in Company A and that was the first real difference I noted. Hahaha.

Other notable random things from 08:

I travelled to 6 countries in the second half of the year. In chronological order: Hong Kong, Shenzhen, New Zealand, Taiwan, Thailand and Turkey. Out of which, Taiwan (Taipei) and Turkey were my own vacations.

I added my jc crush, last mentioned in here, more than six months ago on facebook. And he didn't acknowledge the friend request and I totally regretted it as I felt silly and wished there was an option to un-do the whole add as friend thingy. And than my jaw dropped when he actually accepted the friend's request on December 23rd. That was one 见鬼 incident on facebook. Lol. Haha good, now I can kpo on my past crushes on facebook.

Okay that's about it for 08. In summary, it was quite a shitty year but we can leave out the shit since elaborations are in previous entries ;).

Let's hope 09 be a better year despite the stinky economy.

early resolutions

2008-12-15T20:43:00.005+08:00

My heart sank when I clicked the fund transfer button to my friend as she helped me change USD for our upcoming trip. This is my most expensive trip to date and it is going to take months to bring the bank balance back to a healthy level. :(

I don't usually do this but...

New year resolution #1

I need to spend less and start saving, like from this month's pay onwards.

New year resolution #2

To maintain double digit figure for my credit card bills...haha, like is this even possible but I'll try...from Feb 08 onwards cos my Jan 09 bills will just be as disgusting. Actually it's possible, I'll just lock my cards at home.

Crappy weekend

2008-12-14T21:33:00.003+08:00

I didn't realise my Dec 2nd post was my 200th entry. Oh erm well, happy 201st then.

I did my last minute shopping at Mango end-of-season sale today for my upcoming trip. I needed more cardigans....so now I'm more or less winter-equipped (I hope). Else I'll just pile on the layers. And why is it that I always have to spend money before going on holiday. Sigh. I'm like soooooooo very broke.

Besides being BROKE, I'm also very dead in terms of my work progress. After being bombarded with review points from the previous nightmare, I ended up with alarmingly, little time to wrap up on the BKK job.

Intended to start on it this weekend but I fell sick on Saturday..as in really bad headache, feverish with wobbly legs and so I had to take medication and lie in bed for the whole afternoon. Wanted to do the shopping on Sat then work through my Sunday. And well my Sunday's almost over and yours truly just sat down to do her documentations. Sigh.

When I rather be watching East of Eden or that hilarious Miss No-Good. AHhhhh..buck up, buck up and maybe you can watch one miserable episode later.

embroiled in political frenzy

2008-12-02T20:38:00.003+08:00

I find it quite comical now after our early week frenzy about whether we can get back home via u-tapao/phuket/chiangmai etc, the protest is gonna end officially tomorrow after the court gave its ruling.

Which means there is a chance we might not have to travel to the far-flung military airport.

And leave the service apartment at unearthly 3-4am.

It's quite interesting actually to see how things progress (minus the frustration of not knowing if one can get home) when usually I'll be nonchalant towards this if I'm back at home. Now I'm fully updated with bkk political changes as well as the latest mumbai updates due to my constant refreshing of channelnewsasia.

I've got 101 things to do back in the apartment and I feel so un-motivated. I have been feeling un-motivated for the past 2.5 weeks. I just want to go homeeeee. I feel as if I'm hardly home. Even when I'm on leave, I'll be flying somewhere for my vacation. Yeah just take a look at my upcoming Dec schedule - 20 - 31 Dec --> out-of-town Vacation and then 4th Jan off to vietnam for work for another THREE weeks. Urgh. When I return, it'll be CNY.

Where got time to buy new clothes?!

Stranded and uncertain

2008-11-29T11:21:00.004+08:00

It's less than a week to my scheduled departure and the company has not given any indication if they will make arrangements for alternative routes, i.e. using the U-tapao airport. The last known email they sent out early last week was still that dratted "We are monitoring the situation to see if we can send XXX down this Sunday." What about sending us home?

Although we are far from the drama that's contained elsewhere in the country but the fact remains, there are almost 100,000 foreigners being stranded and this figure is bound to snowball if the international airport remains closed. It's not only about being safe, it's about getting home too, as planned, on 5 December.

I'm just kinda disgusted by the way my company seems to be handling this. I'll see if there are updates from them on Monday cos the longer it drags, the dimmer my chance of getting back on Friday.

And it sickens me too that the assistant manager on site with us is going along with the flow and keeping quiet. He even expressed that he doesn't mind staying here over the long weekend next week.

Well you can stay here yourself while I'm going home, even if I have to take an overnight train to cross the borders over to Laos in order to get on a flight back home- another possible alternative suggested by friend.

The news yesterday on the death of the Singaporean hostage in Mumbai sent chills down my spine. Just 2 months ago, we sent a team down for close to 3 weeks in Mumbai and there are 2-3 India jobs lined up in 2009. Honestly I'm freaked out. Never mind about the monitoring the whole situation shit as my co loves to put it before they happily send you over to these places and then leave you to your own devices. You won't know when these things will strike. The world is really fucked up at the moment. Shit happens anytime, anywhere in fact, it depends on whether if you are just plain unlucky.

I'm tired. I want my vacation in December. I hope I can get back in time for my vacation, which I'm pretty sure should be able to....I can't be holed up here till xmas right? Anyway the stupid co won't pay for our living expenses here for that long.

Currently blogging from my service apartment lobby as housekeeping tidies up my room....they should be done now. Going up now..

stuck in bangkok

2008-11-26T11:20:00.003+08:00

SIA cancels all flights to and from Bangkok.

I still have more than a week left in Bangkok. I hope the tension eases and the airport opens by then.

Else I'm stuck! Hello Chiangmai, Phuket?

Especially sucky when the company is more concerned about IF they can send one more person to bkk rather than looking into IF the rest of us here can GO back.

i wanna go home

2008-11-25T20:25:00.002+08:00

Why am I always falling sick overseas?

On working trips somemore and that is double the misery.

And my spate of bad luck continues. My work laptop blue screened me without fail every night in Bangkok. It's like an automatic timer which tells the laptop to eat shit and die at night but miraculously it would be up and running the next day in office. I was so 'fraid no one would believe this (of why I couldn't work at night) that I even videotaped the whole blue screen process on my camera.

My linguine al pesto and pumpkin soup just arrived. Yeah I have been eating in the service apartment for most of the nights. Been eating IN for lunch in that small cramped room over at the auditee's. Damn sian, gonna get zi bi zheng very soon.

Alritey, dinner time and back to my pathetic streaming of East of Eden on youku.

expressionless

2008-11-16T11:48:00.004+08:00

I have been feeing rather anti-social of late. Be it online or off.

And the last thing I want is probably to attend a wedding later this evening. A colleague's wedding actually, he's nice and all although I have only known him for barely six months. It's not about his wedding, it's about meeting & mingling with people at functions like that and I have absolutely no mood for that.

Blame it on pre-travel blues.

I have been rather pissed off that the bangkok assignment was switched at the last minute to another bangkok assignment. Was looking forward to the initial project as the team was fun but shit happens, not that the current team ain't nice....nice but serious people (read: late nights ahead). The timeline is ridiculous again and the workload impossible. Same scenario as the NZ job, perhaps worse as the junior staff there can hardly speak English. :(

hatesmanufacturingjobs.

That sums up my very serious blues that till now I have not packed a single thing into my luggage.

S-I-A-N!

Random thoughts from Taipei

2008-10-29T22:52:00.005+08:00

The puppies in Taipei are dirt cheap.

A maltese costs NT$7,000 (approx S$325) and a brown toy poodle, NT$10,200 (S$474).

I can easily buy back 3-4 pups. Yeah, if only I live here.

This is not relevant to pups but I realise the texture of my hair feels better here too. I was too stressed/miserable in NZ to notice if there's any difference in hair texture. More reason to want to make a permanent move to my second home. ;)

Lastly I pride myself for spending only 50% of the money I changed and with only one full day left in Taipei. Lest you think I changed alot and 50% may be material, nope I changed less than a grand. :) I practically had zero savings in the last couple of months due to Lasik, new phone and I duno wat else...the credit card bills spell 'em all. So I really have to curb my spendings.

Maybe I should start saving up for a puppy.

黑武士

2008-10-22T22:22:00.003+08:00

I remember blogging before that bad things come in triplets but I'm too lazy to go hunt down that particular entry.

Anyway my triple bad luck has struck again, this time with my electronic gadgets.

#1 External hard disk (barely a few months old and still fresh from comex)
#2 Ipod remote control
#3 Handphone

Yes, they have all failed me in one way or another or totally died. #1 is totally dead. #2 is insensitive to song skipping and #3 ..... let's say I can only punch in numbers and nothing else. Please don't be surprised if I can't return your sms-es.

Arghhh..

Anyway, plugging another new song...黑武士 by JJ Lin.

有了天空為何世界還有地心引力有了希望
為何絕望還是如影隨形
有了勇氣就讓哭泣埋葬過去
去寫一種歷史名字叫奇蹟
如果恐懼就像火炬那就讓它沸騰我血液帶到我絕地喔
我才能完全覺醒
在黑暗的對面是光明
光明後面是陰影
正義邪惡是誰有權定義
在命運的前面我懷疑
在面具後面鐵一般決心
光榮的犧牲也是種榮譽不

怕人說不要人懂我要證明
明天我的姓名將會是傳奇如果恐懼就像火炬那就讓它沸騰我血液
帶到我絕地喔
我才能完全覺醒

Oh and 醉赤壁 is nice too...very jay-ish and well the lyricist's 方文山. Figures.

落葉堆積了好幾層而我踩過青春
聽見前世誰在淚語紛紛
一次緣份結一次繩我今生還在等
一世就只能有一次的認真
確認過眼神我遇上對的人
我揮劍轉身而鮮血如紅唇前朝記憶渡紅塵
傷人的不是刀刃是妳轉世而來的魂

sniffy

2008-10-19T20:47:00.004+08:00

My eyes are blurry and tearing. My nose is running. I can't stop sneezing.

SO much for wanting to enjoy my so-called last peaceful weekend before all the shit comes in and the evil manager starts reviewing the NZ assignment. And I have to fall sick and ended up having to lie in bed for most of the afternoon and I can't even sleep! I was awake and in a delirious state. Couldn't sleep well last nght too cos throat was hurting so much. :(

Sigh.

Usually the week before I go on leave would be the most unbearable and now I'm kick starting the week with a runny nose. Brilliant, isn't it.

And jaychouwillbeinchinahavingconcerttheweeki'mintw.....

Coming home

2008-10-03T18:26:00.004+08:00

I feel like going to bed now and waking up in the middle of the night to do my packing.

It's not so much about stuffing the clothes into the suit case...it's sorting those CYAs that might just exceed my baggage allowance for having to carry them back.

I have been waking up in the middle of the night consecutively to work. It'll be like I return to my apartment, work an hour and a half before my brain goes into standby mode and I have to go to bed for a couple of hours before I force myself up again to continue.

And that totally sucks.

Oh well I'm coming home now. And the thing I'll miss most is the climate. As much as I look forward to going home, I sure as hell don't miss the shitty weather back home.

NZ is a good place to fulfill my farmer dream.

只剩下鋼琴陪我站在這裡

2008-09-28T12:02:00.004+08:00

I typed an entry earlier but I'm not going to publish it cos it's too depressing.

Anyway I kinda like the jay-chou infused new track by SHE - 安靜了 where it made use of Jay's lyrics from 安靜 as well as the starting tune of 安靜 to create a brand new track. And well, 作曲：周杰倫 (naturally).

只剩下鋼琴陪我站在這裡
夢想中屬於我們的婚禮
卻成了單人結婚進行曲
在這場愛情角力的拔河裡
愛我還是愛你你選擇了自己

撒嬌的可愛的黏人的愛哭的照片裡曾經的都是你喜歡的
如今我還在原地你卻走回你的記憶

你說我愛你太多就快要把你淹沒
你害怕幸福短暫一秒就崩落
分開是一種解脫讓你好好的想過
我想要的那片天空你是不是能夠給我

你說我給你太多卻不能給我什麼
分不清激情承諾永恆或迷惑
愛情是一道傷口我們各自苦痛
沉默是我最後溫柔是因為我太愛你

只剩下鋼琴陪我站在這裡
夢想中屬於我們的婚禮安靜了在我枕邊的夢裡
我知道相愛原本就不容易
愛不是1加1 努力就有結局

撒嬌的可愛的黏人的愛哭的照片裡曾經的都是愛著你的
臉頰的淚還溫熱卻沒有人握我的手

你說我愛你太多就快要把你淹沒
你害怕幸福短暫一秒就崩落
分開是一種解脫讓你好好的想過
我想要的那片天空你是不是能夠給我

你說我給你太多卻不能給我什麼
分不清激情承諾永恆或迷惑
愛情是一道傷口我們各自苦痛
沉默是我最後溫柔是因為我太愛你

Can't wait for his new album in October.

sick in auckland

2008-09-14T19:05:00.004+08:00

I could be at New Zealand under better circumstances.

I'm freezing my ass now in my suite and nursing a sore throat. This sore throat could evolve into a full-blown cough and the chilly wind here is only going to make it worse.

Sigh.

I doubt I'll get out of this alive (the work bit).

I had planned on blogging more but I'm too cold and sick at the moment.

And because I couldn't care less about this trip, I FORGOT to bring my camera usb cable...great, can't even do anything with those pics I took.

Growing up

2008-09-07T20:34:00.004+08:00

You know there are neighbours you practically grew up with but never exchanged a single word nor the slightest form of acknowledgement?

There was this girl who stayed in the same block as me. She stayed on the 9th floor, me on the 13th. I suspected we were from the same primary school but my poor memory can't confirm that. I think she was a year older than me.

Secondary School
We were often in the same lift during our secondary school days in the mornings. Lift stopping on the 9th floor, she getting on and me pressing the lift door shut.

Junior College
Same scenario as above.

University
Same scenario as above. Despite the more flexi uni hours, we still saw each other in the lift in the mornings. Note: We were never in the same school from Sec - Uni.

Working
I saw her often in the lift, nicely made up in her nicely pressed blouse, pencil thin skirt, LV bag and stilettos. While I stood clumsily beside her with my laptop bag.

I was still running into her in the lift last year but stopped seeing her around this year. And just this morning, I ran into her while I was out getting groceries with my parents. I almost couldn't recognise her till my mom pointed out. My mother knew her mother although we were never friends (not even hi-bye/nod-head lift aquaintances). We were just random people in the lift.

She must be 7 or 8 months along in her pregnancy, waddling slowly in Guardian, her hair down, bespectacled and sans make-up. I didn't even know she got married (well naturally, since we didn't know each other) and here she is, about to embark on the next stage of her life - motherhood.

At the end of the day, it's all about growing up. Stages of life that one had to go through although I'm still at stage 2 (stage 1: school, stage 2: work....) and probably gonna remain at this stage forever. Cliche it may seem but lately, from facebook, I have seen so many people of my age getting engaged, married and having kids even (i.e the neighbour in my entry). All these seemed pretty far off to me, yeah as I embrace my impending spinsterhood. lol.

Overheating baby

2008-09-06T10:04:00.004+08:00

Sony recalls Vaio laptops for possible overheating

And yeah, suey enough, my laptop model is the overheating TZ series.

The stupid site addy that Straits Times provided is inaccessible. Looks like I have to bring lappy down to the service centre to have a look.

Edit: And so my lappy is hospitalised and probably won't be back after I'm gone. Thanks Sony.

HELLO PRESBYOPIA!

2008-09-05T21:05:00.006+08:00

Blogger ate my entry and now I have to re-type the whole thing. Okay in point form then.

1)I'm LASIKED.

2) Surprisingly, I had not much of the stinging sensation and neither did I tear. I just couldn't open my eye wide after that.

3) So I popped the pill and went straight to bed and slept for four hours.

4) Now I'm awake, and feeling abit painful cos the suction tingy left a blood clot on left eye which the doctor assured will go away soon.

5) My vision is slightly sharper now. Was misty immediately after the op. But close-up ocjects are kinda blurry to me. Faroff objects are fine. Oh shit, did I just kena Presbyopia?! Goodbye shortsightedness/astig, HELLO LAOHUAYAN!

Managed to get a day off on Monday as well.... :D but i still have to get my ass down to complete some work on Sun night as I don't really have many days left before jetting off to NZ --> nightmare.

Edit: On an irrelevant note and because I like remembering stupid dates, this is the official one year after someone called me by my name and made me realise that yeah, he does know my name. Sniff.

Freaking out

2008-09-01T21:54:00.003+08:00

There are better things to worry about than being Ugly Betty.

I decided to go re-read Joyce's account of her lasik op back in May 2007 and I can feel myself freaking out this very moment, even though the op is still some 4 days away.

1) Suction. What suction??!! okay I haven't watched no video..and have no idea what this is supposed to be, other than it being really uncomfortable.

2) You mean you're actually aware when the flap is being cut open?! oh my, can someone just knock me unconscious please and then pry my eyes open for the op.

3) Flipping flap open. This sounds gross.

4) Eyes stinging like hell after that.

I'm scared.

ugly betty and serious inferiority complex

2008-08-31T12:13:00.004+08:00

I do feel alot like Ugly Betty now, minus the braces.

Due to my upcoming Lasik, I have been dutifully wearing glasses for the past 2 weeks. And when I went out during weekends, I have been praying hard not to meet friends on the streets due to my frumpy bespectacled look. But y'know, Sg is small and I have already met a couple of people that I know, one of whom passed an insensitive remark saying I look weird, yeah like I know full well, thank you very much. And just yesterday, I ran into a uni friend with his girlfriend and his girlfriend was positively glowing with her newly dyed red hair. There was an awkward silence between me and her after I have made the usual small chat with my friend. Then she opened her mouth and asked, "You cut your hair?" I just happened to go for a trim the day before and had gotten bangs. Personally bangs are all right when I'm not wearing glasses but I believe I can look really retarded - bangs + glasses. I know her question was being polite and all but I also know I looked retarded and that added a deeper dent to my inferiority complex. I had very light make-up on yesterday and it was as good as none.....so...sans-makeup, frumpy spectacles and retarded hairstyle...I really should just stay off the streets and lock myself at home.

But I have arranged with a friend to head down to Comex later, arghhh let's just hope I don't run into people I know, again.

edit: I didn't!!! yay. :D but comex was disgustingly crowded as usual and I actually got LOST and didn't know where my nearest exit was. The 320g hard disk was a good buy though. Anyway I spent loads this weekend, totally lost track of the amount of things I bought. Great. I better cure myself of this senseless shopaholic disease.

shit happens

2008-08-08T20:15:00.003+08:00

Suey is indeed my middle name. I have never thought of myself as particularly lucky before, in fact good things never happen to me, only bad things do. Even if things seem smooth sailing initially, it's only a fucking illusion.

Stay-in Saturday in Shenzhen!

2008-07-26T11:03:00.004+08:00

I'm currently bumming around in the hotel room. Procrastinating at the sight of the shitload worth of work but I'll still have to drag my ass to worn on it somehow. Else the reason for staying in today will be totally defeated.

My colleagues are going shopping at the Luo Hu place later and I have decided to give that a miss. To rest (and work). Besides Luo Hu is famous for rip-offs of designer brands, well I rather go brand-less than get a rip-off. Yeah, so no need for that and I really dread the crowd+sweat, so staying in would be a better option. However, one of the SZ staff here is gonna bring us to Hua Qiang Bei tomorrow so it won't be nice to reject his hospitality so my stay-in 2 day plan has been reduced to a day.

I know people say SZ is a nice place to shop but it really doesn't appeal to me and current expenditure to date is still a cup of Mac Cuppuccino. Lol. Whatever happened to the Shopping Queen?

Shall catch the first episode of the newest jap drama Seigi No Mikata starring one of my favourites Mukai Osamu, (Honey & Clover's Mayama..ooooooh..that's where I fell in love). Haha, then work later. BLEAH.

Work stinks!

long entry, finally

2008-07-20T23:38:00.005+08:00

So this is my maiden trip to China, well Shenzhen to be specific and I must say I'm not liking it very much. And reaffirms my decision (before and now) to never consider China as part of my holiday plans and so I will only come here for work.

Reasons in point form:

1) The CROWD at the subway, be it queueing for single trip tickets/topping up of their EZlink equivalent or getting into the train. It is complete madness. And this is only like one station and 0.000000001% of the SZ population. The subway situation at Taipei or HK is waay better. I mean, it's complete heaven over there.

2) Summer. Meaning the weather is hot, stuffy, sticky...and everywhere I go, I had to take note not to take in deep breath or rather holding my breath would be better....as I'm smelling sweaty bodies everywhere. And that sweat stench is totally nauseating. I need sour plums to prevent myself from throwing up. Serious.

3) Supposedly cheap and good shopping but with Points 1 & 2 above, my shopping was pretty much affected. It was so crowded everywhere and every other stall pretty much sells the same stuff. Basically nothing appealing although the prices are friendly. The clothes are mostly teeny bopper type of stuff and the shoes although colourful are just well, normal and nothing caught my fancy. Besides I have too many pairs of shoes (some brand new and in boxes) at home and I really shouldn't add anymore to the collection unless any particular pair calls out "Buy Me" which I haven't seen any.

I would probably have more reasons to add on to the above once I commence field work proper. I don't even know my accounting terms in Chinese, brilliant. And 2 weeks to complete a shitload of work. This job is my true test to see if I'm really cut out for this, in terms of time management and ability to identify issues/documentations etc. I can't say I'm not enjoying what I'm doing, I like it but sigh, I wish there is more time allocated. Same problem as external audit.

Maybe I'll be entertaining you (my very few readers) with more entries from SZ if I haven't died from the job.

And the reason why I haven't blogged much in Singapore after the HK trip is cos half the time I was too caught up with Cabal-ing. *Sheepish look* But the game is really interesting, way better than maplestory which I have stopped ever since a long time ago. I can't play in China though cos the server only recognises connections from Sg/M'sia. Yeah great, but I probably don't need this distraction here. Heh.

Lastly, I'm just glad there is complimentary internet access in the hotel room unlike in HK, bleah.

It's July..

2008-07-06T01:04:00.004+08:00

I seem to be more enthusiastic about blogging when I was in Hong Kong. Oh well, I actually had the urge to blog during the past week but that urge always came about DURING working hours and by the time I reached home, that urge has fizzled and died. Read: Plain lazy. I need to first gather my thoughts, sit down with the book diary, pen a proper entry before getting back to you.

Anyway, I cried like shit today after watching 10 Promises to My Dog. Tears just started flowing on its own accord. I didn't know what came over me. I seldom cry during movies. No matter how sad, how heartwrenching, I can somehow still keep a straight face and tear ducts in control. Maybe I'm getting old and vulnerable.

愛在遺憾裡更清晰

2008-06-24T19:49:00.002+08:00

閉上眼睛還能看見你離去的痕跡
在月光下一直找尋那想念的身影

如果說分手是苦痛的起點
那在終點之前我願意再愛一遍
想要對你說的不敢說的愛會不會有人可以明白

我會發著呆然後忘記你接著緊緊閉上眼
想著哪一天會有人代替讓我不再想念你

我會發著呆然後微微笑接著緊緊閉上眼
又想了一遍你溫柔的臉在我忘記之前

心裡的眼淚模糊了視線我已快看不見

lalala

2008-06-14T02:32:00.003+08:00

Blogging from the hotel lobby again at 2-ish in the morning. There was some filming going on at the counter earlier and being the typical kpo Singaporean, I had to take a closer look, you know, just in case it's some big
shot...or Alex Fong..(my last remaining favourite in HK after Edison fell into disgrace).

Anyway, it's a girl. I thought maybe some random model since they looked as if they were filming an ad for the hotel as the girl was dressed in the counter uniform. But she looks like Shirley Yeung although a tad on the short side, I thought she was taller from TV. *Shrugs* And she has a PA tagging along...

So HK is having amber rain storm now as per the Hong Kong Observatory. It was RED rainstorm earlier I think. Supposed to be bad with floodings...and I was still wandering around TST and getting myself totally wet in the heavy rain. Umbrella didn't help.

Alright it's now officially 3am and I'm the only insane person left in the lobby with the guy who's vacuuming the floor. Bahahah.

Night!

dead dead dead!!

2008-06-11T23:41:00.004+08:00

I'm so dead.

It's almost Thursday, almost the end of the week...and I haven't done anything much! Primarily due to the HK staff having no time to entertain me, don't all these sound so familiar?

Arghhh...

And I'm so proud of myself that 3 days 2 nights later in Hong Kong, and I have only spent a grand total of S$33. Out of which S$26 relates to the octopus card meant for taking the local subway. Muahahaha.

Edit: It's starting to pour outside. Time for bed. Nites!

greetings from HK

2008-06-10T17:36:00.003+08:00

*Waves from Hong Kong*

As expected, I have no FREE internet access back in the hotel, cept for the hotel lobby...but I'm too lazy to bring laptop down to surf/check my nonsense. Besides I doubt my chunky brick of a laptop can detect any form of wireless.

One thing about working overseas, I'm perpetually tired even though work hasn't exactly commenced proper. Maybe I'm not in tune with things yet. And being no in tune physically actually puts me at a higher risk of falling sick. Hahaha, yeah so plenty of water and fruits and try to sleep earlier at night. Besides work, there really isn't anything to stay up for (read: no internet = early nights).

The HK peeps just handed us the lift access card for use during weekends. NOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........not surprising, the land of workaholics. Them coming back during weekends are simply the norm.

Edit @ 9.12pm: Yeah I'm blogging now from the hotel lobby. How pathetic..my colleague helped me figure out how to get the freaking wireless to work. But my battery is dropping like 30% every 5 minutes....so.....and I've got work to do. !@# Sigh. And my back hurts...(sprained back, thanks to my luggage)...

black storm in HK

2008-06-08T12:53:00.004+08:00

Hong Kong hit by severe flooding, two feared trapped

Landslide kills two in Hong Kong

And one of the worst hit spots in the territory is at Hong Kong's International Airport at Lantau Island. The main road to the airpot was closed because of flooding. :\

The flood pictures in the Sunday Times today are not encouraging at all. :\ :\

I hope it doesn't rain too much in the next two weeks. :(

I don't foresee I'll be able to blog due to nil internet access back in hotel room, yeah..so we'll meet again 2 weeks' later (if I feel up to it to blog). Wish me luck for my first trip overseas to work.

2nd day of commercialism

2008-06-03T20:52:00.009+08:00

ANYWAY, I didn't lose sleep on the eve of my first day in case you were wondering. I'm too immune to such stuff. Changes don't bother me too much, as yet.

I had an irresistible urge to blog this afternoon, in office no less. But since I had no choice but to contain the urge (blogger is blocked - more elab below), I can only do it now and hope I don't forget 75% of what I wanted to say.

2nd day of commercialism.

And I do have quite a few things to say/compare after having spent close to 3 years in beeg 4 environment. Preliminary and shallow assessment first as this is still only my second day at work and first week is obviously the honeymoon week, after which I'm going headlong into...(shit?). Gonna camp the coming 2 weeks in the heart of causeway bay.

1) Desk: Yes I finally have my own big desk with 3 spacious cabinets. All mine....but I see no point in personalizing the area as I won't be perpetually around in office. Yeah so I just have more room to spill my stuff and keep my barang barang. However, I'm kinda missing the crammed style of hotdesking with little arm/leg space whatever...and the gossipings/bitchings in between which will be further missed in note 2 below.

2) Quiet and alone...not exactly alone as I have two interns sitting nearby but it is still way too quiet with everybody mostly engrossed with their own work. The colleagues are nice and friendly so far but engaging in casual chats during office hours seem to be taboo.

3) Restricted access to the internet: Yes, you heard it.....NO checking of personal emails (yahoo/gmail/whatever are all banned). If the most basic is already banned and blocked, naturally other nonsense websites like facebook/myspace/ebuddy etc won't be available...and I dunno what others are blocked cos I didn't bother to check. What are Not blocked are news sites, google (search results might be blocked)...and of course that goes without saying, no msn. Hahaha, after having too much freedom online at previous workplaces, this sure takes some getting used to. Now my only mode of communication with the outside world is my office email. When not so long ago, my heart would sink at emails notification, now I brighten up at such notifications if the emails are from friends responding to my ultimate boredom.

4) No more making the effort to dress up at work (for obvious reasons).

5) No good food within walking distance. The food sucks and is expensive. I'm starting to miss the many eateries at the Raffes area.

I think I'm just simply suffering from PRB (Post Raffles Blues). It has been nearly a week since I kissed goodbye to the CBD and I'm feeling the effects now, hahaha.

Continue to feed my boredom for the rest of this week before reality strikes next week.

Edit on 4th June: I can access blogger from office! but i don't dare to blog.....

and so this is goodbye

2008-05-29T00:31:00.004+08:00

My exit wasn't that quiet but it was still pretty low-key overall.

I finished 80% of my clearance tasks before mid-day, after which, I went for a farewell lunch with 6 of my colleagues. Just a teenie weenie bit disappointed that somebody wasn't able to turn up for the farewell lunch because the said person was on leave (and obviously can't be bothered and only did a reply-all to the lunch invitation with Regrets and his signoff). And this is how we say goodbye.....but hey wait, we didn't even say a proper goodbye last Friday. Okay, whatever, this is absolutely not important.

So the farewell lunch was a simple gathering of senior associates and 2 managers. Photo-taking in restaurant and office. Engaged in illegal activities (transferring of dramas and songs to colleagues via my ext hard disk) and almost missed the deadline for the passing of the clearance form to the HR. Had to hurriedly delete off stuff from my computer, stuffed it back into the laptop case and then lugged it down to the IT department. And finally, I say goodbye to the laptop. :) After one last round of goodbyes, I left the office shortly after 5.

Yes and so this is it.

I don't know if it has sinked in yet. The fact that I have left the firm for good. I don't exactly feel anything. Neither sad nor happy. It just doesn't feel like anything. And it scares me a little. Am I so devoid of feelings? Lol.

4 more days before I embark on the next phase - new job, new environment, new people. Yeah, I should be excited but still not feeling anything. But ~~I'm sure~~ maybe I'll lose sleep on the eve.

失憶 - Angela

2008-05-22T23:54:00.005+08:00

我如何假裝我心裡不再有你

沉溺後清醒你卻是異常的平靜

習慣慢慢失憶

這樣就能轉移自己

我發現我愛你就在這一瞬間

傾盆而下的卻是你不安的陰天

畢竟我不慷慨

我並不想害自己

Quiet exit

2008-05-18T23:39:00.004+08:00

Second entry of the month.

Only simply cos there's nothing much to say.

On the workfront, I got bombed with a last minute job that I initially thought was pretty shitty. Think angry client+tight deadline. But it turned out to be relatively okay as the job was straightforward and the manager was a mr nice guy (heard he tendered too). In fact, I had a good last week with all the gossipings, long lunches and dinner with my soon-to-be ex colleagues. :\

A bit sad that I won't be able to attend the upcoming movie event, sigh. Deleted that email the moment it appeared in the inbox. I'm not a part of this anymore. And friend dua-ed me to go for the movie premiere but anyway still managed to grab someone to watch it with me. I didn't watch the first instalment on the big screen but rather it was a sketchy live streaming online, but I remembered liking it and also I enjoyed reading the book.

Last remaining 7 days with the firm. Just wanna get through it peacefully. I can imagine my last day as being any other day after clearance and that is to go back like any other day. Except this time, it's forever. lol. The whole world is on leave anyway, simply perfect to make a quiet exit.

freshly pressed laundry

2008-05-06T00:30:00.003+08:00

I caught you staring and scrolling along my crossed-out schedule today. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something familiar on your screen, the empty pockets of space and that unmistakable X.

Alright so now you know (after getting to it accidentally).

I like the smell of freshly pressed laundry.

and so this is it.

2008-04-28T20:49:00.002+08:00

At first I was feeling disgruntled, unjustified and still reeling in anger. I thought I was going to let it all out the moment the questionings begin. There is of course no hiding from the questionings from the partner, managers...etc. Peers wise, I'm not going to say more unless you are close to me.

Okay back to the unjustfied portion. I guess they really mean to NOT give any time-off in lieu for the shit job, seeing that billings are going to be finalised early this week. Minus off those senseless weekends coming back to re-do the cross-referencing/amendments+inefficiencies whatsoever, I believe there are still efficient overtime hours incurred. The manager obviously feels that we deserved it...nil OT hours and bad appraisal. Right, fuck it. To hell with all these, I'm leaving.

And the moment will come tomorrow when I finally click the deadly send button and brace myself for the rounds of questionings. Yeah, at first I was going to let it all out, but now I feel like playing dumb.

luxury bombs

2008-04-16T00:47:00.003+08:00

First we have the Prada phone by LG.

Now, it's the Giorgio Armani phone by Samsung.

black is good

2008-04-13T23:57:00.002+08:00

After 6 years of having coloured hair (from brunette, red head to ash blond), I have gone back to my black roots. Well..not exactly, since my natural hair colour is a wee bit on the brown side. Anyway it feels good to sport blue black hair, makes the hair looks healthier than my previous weird mix of ash blond and what not. :)

你說你會哭不是因為在乎

2008-04-12T01:12:00.002+08:00

So this is it. I can start counting down my days and make sure I don't look back on this decision that is worth a tidy 5 digit sum. But anyway, my morale is already beyond repair.

But why do I feel an impending sense of sadness? I guess I'm only human. Despite the bad times (very recent bad things that caused the irreversible damage), there are the good times and the nice peeps that I knew and/or worked with. This is pretty contradictory yeah, my heart is like dead, I'm so bent on it, yet now when reality sinks in, it's a different story altogether.

你說你會哭不是因為在乎

tarot reading

2008-04-05T01:59:00.001+08:00

What it says on the tarot reading on my facebook:

Death
This card is commonly misconstrued and does not specifically pertain to physical death. The Death card signifies change in your life brought about by the ending of a current situation and the beginning of a new one. While the card itself may be morbid, it actually represents exciting change in your life. Be prepared for new and exciting situations to develop.

Oh really. Let's hope it comes true then.

pieces of me

2008-03-27T00:25:00.003+08:00

Weekends used to be something to look forward to (to rest primarily), but I guess not, starting from this coming Satuday. Of course it has been a long while since I had absolutely no contact with work on weekends. But at least I get to rest, in between the work bit.

This Saturday I would have to wake up early and drag myself to office. Horror. Yes. They almost wanted me to work 2nd shift on weekdays by heading back to office to clear the shit. UNNECESSARY shit I would say. Ridiculous standards set on documentation. Totally defeats the purpose of efficiency. I highly doubt I can finish the shit on Saturday but I'm not gonna make it 2 days in a row...stillhavemycurrentteaminchargeshit to worry about.

I don't really want to care anymore. I'm breaking. Into pieces.

My cab got into an accident today. My 2nd cab accident to date..the reckless driver rammed into a motorbike and caused the mac delivery driver to be flung off where he looked to be in so much pain, it was impossible to get up (hope his injuries weren't too serious). The impact was on my side, happened so fast, my associate and I didn't know how to react. The crazy driver almost wanted to beat the red light by braking abruptly amidst honks from containter trucks and buses. Can you imagine if it had been a container truck ramming into my side? Death would be a faster solution to all my misery. I shouldn't joke about shit like this, but I'm not really in a joking mood.

Alright, time for bed.

I need to quit.